Gorillaz Review Singles, Smash Hits, June 2001

This interview was originally transcribed on the old official Gorillaz fansite. I have pasted it here for preservation.

2D
Why don’t we think of a clever way to review these, like comparing them to an animal in the zoo, instead of just saying I like the drums or whatever

Warrior
Voodoo

Noodle (Speaking through her translator Alan)
We’re off to a good start! My mini stack wouldn’t play this single so it’s obviously a bit wiffy

2D
This is like a skunk

Eric Benet
Love Don’t Love Me

Noodle
Oh Mr Benet won’t play either!

2D
Like a bear with a sore head, this is easy!

2Pac
Until the End of Time

Noodle
Sampling Mr Mr is not a cool move and I think 2Pac would turn in his grave if he knew that the record company had released this. Should be an easy one for you 2D give us a bird with broken wings!

2D
A Dodo

Dario
Say What’s On Your Mind

Noodle
Eer! I wish my stereo hadn’t played this one either, quick 2D turn this hideous euro pop off!

Matthew Jay
Please Don’t send me away

Noodle
Ooh, he doesn’t sound like a very happy boy! It sounds like Nike Drake and Elliot Smith, I suppose it would be all right to listen to if you had just been chucked!

Turn Table Rocker
A little Funk

2D
It says this one is Germany’s supreme DJ duo, that doesn’t sound too promising…

Noodle
It sounds a bit like Fat Boy Slim, this is the best one yet, ooohhh it’s gone a bit nightrider.

Brandy and Ray J
Another day in Paradise

2D
Pop has peaked! It will never get better than this, it’s the king of the swingers a jungle VIP!

Noodle
A cover of versions of a cover version is not my cup of tea!

Naimee Coleman
My Star

Noodle
Oh shut up!

2D
No give it a chance! Here we go, wicked! Quick turn it off, it reminds me of Samantha Mumba, and she’s got a big forehead.

Alan
No, leave it on I like Miss Colon, she looks like Louise.

Thirteen13
Truth Hurts

2D
Next time I have to count to twenty I’m gonna miss thirteen out because this has pissed me off so much! I’d rather stick a hot match up my arse than listen to this again!

Lisa Stansfield
Let’s Just Call It Love

Noodle
This is rubbish

2D
I don’t like the song very much but I think Lisa Stansfiald is sexy!

Human Nature
When We Were You

2D
They make me feel sick, physically and mentally!

Alan
Me too!

Zeena
Time and Space

2D
Wow it says here that she’s 24, Anglo/Asian, performing arts graduate, trainee counsellor, recovering from viral meningitis and a cartoon space traveller! She wants to make her mind up!

Noodle
What would be really a nice think to happen is that we put one of these CD’s in the stereo and we couldn’t predict exactly what it would sound like before we played it! It’s all old crap!

Echobass featuring Ratpack
The Weakest Link

2D
I think Ann Robinson won’t like this, it sounds like they are all on drugs! Novelty records are rubbish! I was lying about Brandy too, I was just bored of having to be horrible all the time.

Addis Black Widow
Wait in Summer

2D
It say’s this is catchier than a dose of the Clap on a Spanish Holiday, I thought they used Maraca’s over there! Eer!, it sounds like the sort of thing that if you were just coming out of a coma and covered in first degree burns and you heard this you’d fall into relapse!

Noodle
This one makes me want to stick a hot match up my bum!

Both
Hahahahahahaha! That could be dangerous if you were just about to fart!

Christina Aguilera-Lil’ Kim-Mya-Pink
Lady Marmalade

Noodle
Yet another track that turns RandB into something you pick up off of the shelves like cleaning products!

Alan
Yeah but they look like little sluts in the video, I love it!

Selina Vs Xmen
Give It Up

2D
OhnownownownownownowOhnownownow! This is crap man, bin it!

Masai
Haven and Hell

2D
Susan Vega meets Sharon from Bird of a Feather!

Noodle
Yeah and by the way the Masai are a noble African tribe and these two are…

Alan
A couple of dozy blonde rug munchers!

Alien Ant Invasion
Movies

2D
Papa Roach had something to do with this, so they’ll be moaning about homework and stuff! This song makes me want to watch old episodes of "Saved By the Bell" and "Grange Hill" and compare cultures.

Skinny
Morning Light

2D
They asked us to remix this, we couldn’t do it because Russel was re tiling his Jacuzzi! It’s got a cool hook. The best one so far.

Stereophonics
Have a Nice Day

Noodle
Forget about it! This is a thinly disguised version of the Beatles "Here Comes The Sun" and the drummer looks like Nigel from Eastenders after a stroke!

2D
I hate the Stereophonics! They should get that Mr Writer to write them some descent tunes! By the way I was joking about Brandy and Ray J, that was awful too.

Dane
Another Lover

Alan
He lives in a total fantasy world that he’s an American gangster, when he’s a level 5, category C ordinary bloke. He might as well give up!

2D
Nice one Al’ you can come round anytime mate!

Bell Fire
Perfect Bliss

2D
Its getting to the point where I cant think of anything more to say about all of this unimaginative nonesense!

The Alice Band
Instant Karma

2D
I’m not reviewing any more rubbish ones, I’m not even giving them the time of day!

Noodle
At last!

Farrel Lennon
Worlds Greatest Lover

2D
He man needs to seek professional help! Seriously, he’s is very ill, he looks so sure of him self but I’m afraid to say there is a big break down on its way for this boy!

Fats and Small
This Time Around

Noodle
This one should be reasonable.

2D
They are not Chukka Dimas and Pliers though! Turn it off, I’m very disappointed!

Roni Size
Reprezent
Lucky Pressure

Noodle
I’ve been saving this one, a bit of class. This is great, it makes you feel like you’ve drunk too much coffee your stuck on a bus on a hot day in a traffic jam, I love it! Record of the Week!

2D
We’re getting to the good stuff now! We should have started with this, all that rubbish was giving me a headache! Yep record of the week.

India Irie
Video

2D
Ooh, I know this one, I love it! This is gonna be a big summer hit!

Faithless
We Come 1

Alan
This is gonna make us feel mongy, this lot come on like a dull geography teacher who’s dropped out and started sniffing glue, they think they are so clever, I hate that!

2D
Alright Alan mate, steady on, you’re here to translate what Noodle say’s, OK?

Alan
Sorry.

Linkin Park
Paper Cut

Noodle
At least it’s heavy and it knows where it’s coming from.

2D
Yeah.

Shaft
Kiki Riri Boom

Noodle
Oh yeah, Cuba a go go. Oh no its turned into Gloria Estephan!

Alan
I love it! Oops, sorry, I forgot!

Gorillaz
19/2000

Alan
This one is my favourite and I’m not just saying that!

2D & Noodle
Oh Alan, what can we say? Ta very much!